I’ve been thinking on this topic somewhat in-depth recently, as there seems to be an existential questioning from the writing community whether any of this is ‘worth it,’ and whether it ever will be. Will we, as writers, look back on our collections in five or ten years and wonder if it was worth the time to produce these works? Was the energy and time spent to write, produce, collect, publish, market, and manage these publications worth the cost?
I think that depends on a few factors. What are we hoping to gain from our writing? Is it fame? Followers? Money? If this is the answer, then our measure of ‘success’ is going to be how many books did we sell? How much did we make per quarter versus how much time did we spend on the production of the work? If we don’t make X profit in Y amount of time, then we didn’t succeed and therefore it must be a waste.
But what if that’s not the only goal?
Of course, in this capitalist world, making money off a hobby is practically the only way to get ahead, but what if that isn’t the primary goal? What if, instead, your goal is simply to create a thing? To bring something into the world that only you can create. That thing that is inside your brain, screaming to get out.
I’ve spent much of my life dabbling in various creative endeavors, many of which are fleeting until I move onto the next thing. I collect artistic hobbies like one collects bottle caps or coins. But at the end of the day, I’m a creative at heart. It's in my blood to create things and see them come to life. That’s why I write and I’ve come back to writing at every turn of my life. I have all these ideas in my head that need to go somewhere. They are constantly at war for my attention and until I can work them into something tangible, or at least digital with writing, they continue to war with each other in my mind.
I was asked a while ago if I have any idols, someone that reminds me to keep going, even if the odds are heavily stacked against me. My answer then, as it is now, though there are several, is Franz Kafka. Many people are now familiar with his work but most aren’t aware of his life. He was miserable, constantly battling with the same things many writers and creatives battle with today. At one such time when I wondered if it was worth it, my husband sent me a thread discussing his journal entries, reminding me that even the greats struggle. One of my favorite quotes of his is this. “A non-writing writer is a monster courting insanity.” I think this applies to everyone who dabbles in creative ventures, be that writing, art, music, etc.
This is why I think it’s important to ask why you write. For me, it’s never been a question of whether or not I would write. I’ve been writing since, well, forever. I remember being a kid and writing silly, simple little poems about nothing and everything. Scribbling lines in journals that might one day spark something bigger than the simple words jotted on the page. I grew excited to pick creative writing classes because it meant I could turn the things in my head into something besides just strings of thoughts played out like movies in my mind. I could see them and where they went, and I needed to capture that on the page. It meant I could unleash whatever was inside, and maybe even one other person in the world could relate.
I write because I am a writer, and not because I expect to become world famous one day. Sure, that might be great, but I write because it's in me to write. I write even though the worlds I build frustrate me when I can’t get them just right, or the characters I create don’t do exactly what I expected them to do. I write because at the end of the day I love writing. It’s in my blood. I write for me because the stories have to go somewhere. They can’t stay in my head, or I’ll go insane.
One of the things I’ve always said from the beginning, that I’ll always repeat, is: write for you first. Write because you love it. Write because you can’t stand the thought of not writing. If everyone gave up because they thought it might not be worth it in the end, where would we be? How many stories would not exist now because the writer gave up? People spend years trying to get their work noticed, and many never do. But there are many that overcome those obstacles because they keep going. They write because they can’t not.
There will be people who stumble on your work and don’t get it or don’t like it. But for every one of those, there may be another who loves it, who identifies with it, and moves forward with their life because you wrote something that changed them. You could impact the world with your writing, but not if you quit. Not if you give up because of a what-if. Because it ‘might’ not be worth it? But what is ‘worth’ it to you?
I write for myself first and everyone else later. If even one person in all the world resonates with my writing, then as a creator, I’ve won. I’ve not only given space to the thing inside me clawing to get out, but I’ve also touched another life. I’ve given someone something that made them smile. Something no other person in the world could give them. That’s what stories are. They are the one thing that is completely unique to you. A story could be told a thousand times, but no one can tell yours as you would. No one. If you love writing, then write. Write until you no longer love it.
And maybe that doesn’t lead to anything. Maybe it does. Why not find out? These things have to go somewhere. Why not share them with the world? You just might find it was absolutely worth it.
