The Idea
Have you ever been riding along in the car, or dancing in the kitchen while cooking, and a song comes on that you love and suddenly an idea sparkles in your mind like a diamond in the sun? It can be both an amazing and daunting feeling that leaves you both confused and excited. This precise thing happened to me.
The song you ask? Star-Crossed Enemies by Ice Nine Kills. This was the fifth song on their 2015 album, Every Trick in the Book. For those of you unfamiliar, their work often takes classics through a variety of mediums, (in this case literature) and recreates them as metalcore songs. Without even looking this up, you might guess from the title and album description that this one is based on Romeo and Juliet by our good buddy Shakespeare.
Now, this story has been told over and over again, and while I don’t typically write tragedies (because friends this has never been a love story but a depressing tragedy, don’t get me started), something spoke to me about this interpretation specifically. It would be a huge branch from my normal stories, but I could do it, right?
Boy was I Wrong!
So, what happened?
To start with, I ALWAYS plot my books. ALWAYS. I have from the very first short fiction story I wrote back in 2000. That was a loose plot that only really had like 3 scenes and became the first in a longer series, but I still plotted it.
But I didn’t this time.
Armed with nothing but a vague notion of what this would become, a trio of character names that I pulled out of thin air (which is something I also never do), and the title that my book would share with the song, I set out writing.
The first part was relatively easy because I wasn’t going to go too far into detail. I needed to get you started, and then I’d figure out where it went. Editing could come later to fill in any details I needed. And there were so many options, right? With the kinds of things I write, it would be spicy for sure, but who would meet their end? Would it be Whitney, the spunky, yet withdrawn woman who only wanted to stand out from her family’s name and the tradition they stood for? Or maybe Brice, her betrothed who tried but failed to satisfy her desires? Or it could have been Zack, the smooth-talking smart ass who went after what he wanted, even if it hurt others?
I didn’t know.
There were ideas and branches that twirled around in my head and fought with each other. Maybe both of them died in a bid for her hand, or the guys killed each other while they tussled over her? Or maybe one of them accidentally killed her in the fight? Or I could go the old standby, and she could run away with one after faking their deaths… Or maybe that was the plan, and it backfired. This is why I plot. There was also a trio of friends by their sides, so one or more of them could also die.
See? Too many options.
Back to my roots
I needed a step back. I wasn’t a horror writer, or a tragedy writer, though I do love horror and tragedy. I was a spicy romance writer. I NEEDED that part. So, why did someone have to die? Yes, that is what the song was based on, and that would have worked, but it wouldn’t have felt right to me. Not without a really good reason. I hate stories that don’t have a happy ending. I’ve written exactly one (Love Bites), and she will get hers in the end… eventually (I hope).
Okay, so now what? If they don’t die, then there still needs to be tension, right? That’s part of the point of storytelling when it isn’t just smut. And this couldn’t be, just smut, that is. I had too many ideas, and it was going to be a novel. I needed more. Not only that, but I’d already decided the name was going to match, so they had to be enemies, or at least something akin to rivals, so I could keep the spirit of the story.
Star-crossed lovers from rival families. Perfect! They were well-known in their circles, and an accidental meeting would get that rolling. The plot continued, and on I went.
Complications Arose
As with any good idea, there are bound to be things you don’t consider, especially if you don’t plot. How would this end up, even disregarding the end? Would Zack be the experienced Dominant to Brice’s more submissive nature? And how would that play together? Would she end up with one or the other of them, or both somehow? And how would that work? I’d set the story up with a proposal in the Prologue. So, would someone’s dreams be crushed in the end anyway? I didn’t want that, but could I write something that DIDN’T end up like that? How would that work? How would it be received? I had no idea. I knew just from building the characters that Zack was more dominant, but did that mean Brice couldn’t be?
And what about Whitney? Was she a sub, a switch, something else, or nothing? What did she want out of this arrangement? And more importantly, what did I want from this book?
This was a hard question to answer. To top all this off, I’m also working at this point, and that takes so much of my time. When I’m not at work, I’m trying to take care of things at home and spend time with the hubby. Writing was taking a back seat, and when I did have time, I was blocked and exhausted. This story was going nowhere.
I also screwed myself because I thought, maybe if I loosen up, it will come to me? I tried writing when I was high, and let me tell you, that does NOT work for me. I had so many notes afterward about confusing branches and dialogue that was a mess. It was maddening.
So, no more of that. It was time for a change. I finished several chapters by this point, and I sort of liked where it was going, but there was still no real direction. What was I accomplishing? Not much.
A break
I needed one, and badly. I set that project aside and worked on others. I published many more books and did so many other things with my time while this book sat on the back burner, taunting me. I knew one day I would have to finish it, and that time would come, but I needed space. While I stewed on it, I did work on an outline. I broke it all out by chapter and figured out what needed to happen. This would also get several revisions later, and one large one after I lost the doc I’d originally created, but it was fine. In the end, it helped, and I think it was better for it.
The Time Finally Came
At the end of 2022, after I’d quit my job again (thanks to my amazing hubby), writing took hold once more. I wrote some things, and over the course of meeting some new people, I pulled Star-Crossed Enemies back out. I worked on it a little at a time in the early part of 2023, and the story started to come together. By this point, I was starting to branch back out to other places and began publishing again on Medium. My amazing writing partner, Logan Black, not only talked me into serializing it on Vella, but pushed me to finish it in the first place. I was already writing for Medium (and yes, Ranch did ask me to put it in The Agency, but I was so far into it that I didn’t have time to reformat), so I cross-posted it to both places. It wasn’t finished, but if I could get it going, it would force me to finish it to keep my posting schedule intact. Deadlines are a hell of a motivator for me. Pressure, man!
So, I set about the arduous task of breaking up the chapters and sending it into the world. It had mixed results. I had a small handful of people reading along with me on Medium (a huge thank you to all of them. You all have a shoutout in the book!), but I never got traction on Vella. That’s an entire other rant, but needless to say, I didn’t give Vella the time and attention it needed and suffered for it. Either way, it got good reception on Medium, and I finally wrote The End in November of 2023. After nearly 2 and a half years, the hardest part was done… or so I thought.
I’ve Never Hated Editing More
Now, I love writing; it’s my passion. Editing is another story entirely. I edit myself, with help from various places like Grammarly and ProWritingAid, beta readers, and so forth, going over stories multiple times until they are done enough for me. It irks my perfectionist brain, but I’m a lazy perfectionist. I can’t afford an editor, so I work with what I have. And this was a BEAST! When I started editing, the first draft was a little over 102k words. That’s a monster for a romance book, even a contemporary spicy romance. I needed to edit… a lot.
I took the month of December off to give it space, and I was too busy then anyway. In January of 2024, I started editing… and editing… and editing. I took notes from all my responses on Medium, and some notes I’d left myself over various rereads, because I also edit and notate as I go, and I began this painful process. And it took forever. By March, I had something resembling a good story, even if it needed some more editing. I sent it off to my alpha reader and waited. And this thing is still long; I think around 98k words at this point. I knew it would take time. I edited some more and waited some more, and then I got antsy. I took some photos and made the gorgeous cover that is my favorite to date. I set up the preorder, and I hit send, desperate to get this done and out of my backlog and excited to release this the week of my birthday as a treat for me.
But then I had to push it back. Feedback was good, but the story still needed work, and it would take much longer than I had time for at that point. It was the right decision for me and the book, even if I was disappointed for getting too far ahead of myself.
So, I postponed the release, acquired a few more readers to help, and then set off editing again… and again. And it was in a good place. Not perfect, but good enough for now. And edits were still happening, and my readers were giving me really good feedback to work with. They were AMAZING through this process, and I can’t thank them enough.
Slow Launch
I went forward with the release, even though it wasn’t perfect. I’d already had a few preorders for it, so that was a good start. I didn’t push the book much because I was waiting for more edits for the paperback release. I needed this on my shelf, and it needed to be really good before I pulled that trigger. After a slow summer slog of more rounds of edits, other books I had to write, and even more edits, I finally had this thing of beauty done, or as done as it was ever going to be.
So, at this point. I had to go through the arduous task of formatting the paperback. It was a pain in the ass. I hate Amazon’s formatting system. Yeah, it was probably mostly me, but it’s a pain. I hate paperbacks, and the process of making one is excruciating. But I did it! I had individual title cards for my chapters, a beautiful cover that I photographed and formatted myself, and a story I was super proud of. It was beautiful and finally done. I’m currently waiting on my copies, but the proofs looked great.
Lesson Learned
I have never been happier to call a book completely done. And not just that. A full novel, the first I’ve ever written, three+ years after its inception. Yes, it’s long. It’s super spicy. It explores relationships, the good and the bad parts. The terror of choosing happiness in the face of adversity, when it’s not the easy choice, and the consequences that come from that. Of finding yourself and experimenting with BDSM in a way I’ve never quite written before. Riley was close, but Whitney was so much more in depth and so much harder in some ways.
And this was the story this was meant to be. Three lovers, held back by family and expectations, who, through all odds and some heartbreaking conversations, make it through. In the end, this is a story about communication and reaching your potential. About finding love and standing up for yourself. About exploring your desires and choosing the path right for you. About choosing love over everything else.
When I set out to write this story, I never intended to write a BDSM throuple story. It was supposed to be a tragedy, reminiscent of the song that shares its title, based on the classic we’ve all heard a thousand times. But it became something else entirely. The title doesn’t really fit anymore, but that’s the title it has. I couldn’t change it if I wanted to. In my head, it’s always been and always will be Star-Crossed Enemies.
It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever written, but it was worth every damned second of it.
Star-Crossed Enemies is now available in ebook and paperback. It’s also in Kindle Unlimited! You can grab your copy below.
